Using someone else’s progress to measure your own progress is not a good idea.
You need to stop comparing your success with others. Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle. Use your personal yardstick to measure your performance and goals.
Many of us have this habit of comparing our success with that of others’. It is especially common when we begin our pursuit of a new goal. It is easy to look around at others and compare your performance and progress with them.
But Why Do People Do It?
It is because they want to determine how they are doing. They often end up determining their personal value based on these comparisons.
Are they positive?
Most of the times, these comparisons lead people to judge themselves in a negative way. It is important to know about your weaknesses. However, feeling unlucky, inadequate, and unsuccessful by comparing yourself with others is the worst form of negativity.
Comparisons steal all the joy from your life. They can make you lose sight of your goals. Depression is also a common outcome of these comparisons, in addition to many other negative thoughts and feelings.
If you are using someone else’s progress to improve yourself and learn from it, then it can be a great learning experience. However, you need to ensure that you don’t get too far in comparing yourself to them or it can lead to enormous negative energy that you don’t want in your life.
No One’s Born Successful
It is important to keep in mind that everyone has a beginning. It takes time and effort to be successful.
Sit back and relax.
Think about all the wonderful things that you have achieved in your life until now. It can be anything like graduating from college, getting a job, having a lasting friendship, successful relationships, saving goals, etc. Your achievement may be smaller things like finishing a book, eating healthy, sticking to your monthly budget, etc.
Now think about how you worked for these things. Each one of these achievements had a beginning. Think about how things were when you started out and how they are now. You may not have achieved all your goals, but you see that things are improving.
This is what success is, not being stagnant and continuously growing, regardless of the pace of growth. The beginning may be different for all of us, but we all have one. Therefore, comparing your progress with someone else’s, who had a different beginning than yours, is not a good idea. It will take you nowhere.
You need to focus on your goals rather than comparing your success with that of others.
Comparisons Should Only Motivate You
The word comparison is generally considered negative. But comparisons don’t have to be negative all the time. In fact, you can take a lot of positive things out of comparisons.
When you start working on a new goal and compare your success to others, then you should look for motivation rather than negativity. Looking up to others can give you important insights about what path to take and what to avoid.
However, you need to make sure that you don’t compare your beginning to someone’s middle. They may have started years before you did. All you should do is take the positive aspects of their journey and work towards achieving your goals your way.
The Impact of Negative Feelings
Many of us fall prey to negative feelings when we compare our success and progress with others. However, these negative feelings can take a toll on our lives. Here are some effects of negative feelings that are attached to comparisons.
Taking out negatives from a comparison will compel you to keep up with someone else’s lifestyle. You may not be able to afford it right now, but you are too pressured to buy the same things and live the same way as they do. This leads to spending more than you can afford.
Often times, this leads to unnecessary money borrowing and debt.
2. Negative Personal Thoughts
When you compare yourself with someone who is at a much better place than you, then you may have many negative personal thoughts. You may even feel defeated as you are not as good as them. This leads to depression and lack of motivation that prevents you from achieving your goals.
One of the biggest negative impacts of comparisons is unhappiness. You keep thinking about others when you should be thinking about how you can make your life better. It is a downward spiral and you will not be able to get out of it until you let go of the negative things and absorb all things that are positive.
The more you compare yourself with others, the worse you will feel. If you spend all your time in procrastinating and comparing yourself to others, then you will not be left with any time to do what you’ve got to do to achieve your goals.
Thus, don’t let negative comparisons affect your life and jeopardize your chances of success. If you must compare, look at only their positive aspects and use them to achieve your goals and make your life better. Don’t be discouraged with your beginning; instead, find motivation and inspiration from the success stories of others.
Focus on Your Goals
Not comparing yourself with anyone else is easier said than done. With social media sites boasting of other people’s success and achievements, comparisons have become a routine affair.
It is okay to make comparisons, as long as they are positive. Don’t let any negative aspects take over you when you see someone else’s progress. Instead, use their progress to learn something that will take you towards your goals.
You should focus on making your dreams a reality. Work hard to achieve your goals and don’t use someone else’s progress to undermine your achievements. Here are some things you can do to keep your focus on your goals and dreams:
1. Stop Comparing
Why do you want to compare yourself with others? Is it impacting your life and stopping you from focusing on your goals? Think about it. You will be able to move forward when you realize that comparing yourself to others is not taking you anywhere.
2. Be Happy for Others
Don’t undermine the accomplishments others have made by thinking and saying that they had it easy. You have no idea what the person may have gone through to be where they are today. Instead of being jealous and envious of someone’s success, learn to be happy for them.
3. Healthy Competition
Instead of wasting your energy and precious time in being jealous of someone’s success, take inspiration from them. When you compare yourself with someone, think about how you can also achieve what they have and work for it.
4. Use Social Media Sensibly
Do you often find yourself comparing your life with other people’s life on social media? Stop right away. Get off social media if this comparison game is getting to your head. Learn how to be happy for others and stay away from social media unless you are sure you can make peace with other people’s success.
If you wish to stop comparing, then you need to learn how to transform your self-doubts into inspiration. This will only give you positive energy, even when you are comparing your success with that of others.
Your Success is Different From Everyone Else’s
Don’t compare your progress with others. Period.
Your progress is independent of the progress that anyone else makes.
Does the guy sitting next to you have a brand-new car?
Is someone else losing weight faster than you?
Are they getting better grades than you?
You don’t have to set them as your standard for success. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. They have their own set of opportunities. Someone else’s success shouldn’t define yours. Their success should not threaten your progress and satisfaction.
You may take inspiration from them. But being jealous and envious of someone else’s progress and success is just going to take you away from your goals. Do it your way and don’t use someone else’s success as a standard to measure your own.
Learn to Look Away
Is someone else’s success bothering you?
If you find yourself too focused on what other people are doing and achieving, then you need to take a break. Learn to look away. If you have them on your social media, unfollow them. Turn off notifications that take you to their profile again and again.
Looking away is the best option when you feel that these comparisons are getting to your head. If they are affecting your mental health and wellbeing, then it is best to let them go.
Another Important Thing!
Do you know some people who are jealous of your success?
If yes, then you should distance yourself from them. You don’t need to be close to someone who constantly vilifies your achievements and accomplishments. You are better off without them and don’t need their negative and toxic energy around you. Don’t let anyone discourage you and denigrate your self-confidence.
Learn to Accept Yourself
Learn to be happy with yourself.
Seeing the positive side of things may not be easy in some situations, but you need to learn how to do it. Focusing more on the positive things will just make things a lot better for you. Being negative just brings limitations, and you don’t want that if you wish to be successful.
Focus on yourself.
Stay in your own lane.
Don’t compare yourself to others.
Avoid using someone else’s progress to define your own success. Don’t let someone else’s success impact your own path.